You Can't Avoid Me Now... [Christopher]

[Tamara Lynn Davis]

After her confession, Oliver had seemed pretty shaken up. To put it lightly, at that. Now, Tammy Lynn had to find Chris and at least have him hear her out. She knew that the best place to wait would undoubtedly be in front of the Ravenclaw common room. She stood, leaning against the stone wall, keeping herself as uncomfortable as possible. It was gradually getting chilly, even inside the castle walls, so the thick Slytherin scarf around her neck would not seem out of place. She hoped that he would give her a chance, Oliver had, after all. But she also knew that Oliver had told Chris already, which meant that he was most probably avoiding her... or had given up on her. But he wasn't cruel, she knew Chris that much. He wasn't exactly forgiving... but he was fair.
Half an hour passed and she was still standing, rigid, up against the stone wall. She felt half-frozen and kept shifting her weight from one foot to the other, just to make sure that her foot was still alive. An hour passed. She could now make out her breath in the frigid night air. Her hands were curled into tight fists and she was unsure if they would uncurl at all. She pulled her scarf tighter around her neck and looked down at the ground. She decided to give Chris another twenty minutes, before having to admit defeat and retire to her dorm again.

[Christopher Zhou]

Thankfully, he'd chosen to hang back in the locker room to shower. The cold rain was brutal and he'd have hated trudging back to the castle in muddy, soaking wet practice robes. The other members of the team teased him for turning the pair of spare socks in his locker into rain boots to slip over his shoes, but there was nothing Christopher hated more than the bottom of his jeans being wet. The rain jacket and umbrella kept him relatively dry. At least the wind wasn't blowing. He laughed at one of his fellow team mates who shivered the entire way up. "Who's the dork now?" he'd asked, stopping at a bench to take off the rain boots, change them back, and then stick them in his pocket. They walked back together talking about the new formation Phelan had planned out, but as they neared the common room, he saw a familiar head of blonde hair and his smile faded.

"Go on ahead," he told his friend who merely nodded and disappeared into the common room. Slowly he walked towards her, noting how cold she looked. Sliding out of his jacket, he handed it to her with a short, "Here." He folded his arms then, looking everywhere else but directly at her. Yes, Oliver had approached him and explained to him what was said and what he thought of it. Christopher had his own opinions but he would at least let her speak her peace. He owed their shadow of a friendship that much at least. "Is there really anything to say at this point?" he asked.

[Tamara Lynn Davis]

Tammy pushed back from the wall when she heard the voices of people approaching. She smiled, briefly reminded of the old days when they had still played Quidditch together in the pouring rain when she saw the Ravenclaw team trudging back. She shivered and waited for him to notice her. She saw his smile disappear and fought the urge to break into tears - either that or kick the wall. She did not do either and instead just smiled and accepted the jacket he held out to her. She pulled it over her frozen frame. It was a small show of kindness on his behalf and she appreciated it more than she would let on. Instead she said a short, "thanks", and hoped that he would sense that she was genuinly thankful. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to her. It was a pity that she wasn't here to repair this world, but to break it down indefinetely.

She did not say anything for a bit, marveling at the change he had gone through. All this time they had been apart and she had never noticed. Gone was the small, dark haired boy of nine. This was no boy anymore. He had changed. "You look good," she stated in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. She nodded at his question. "Not in that sense, no. I'm not here to explain myself, you've heard it all from Oliver already."

She braced herself. "I know you, so I'm not seeking forgiveness. Just - just - promise me this: whatever is to come, and I don't know just yet, don't let it teint your memory of me." She took a shuddering breath and smiled faintly. "I'm scared, Chris. More so than I have ever been." She had actually never admitted to being scared before, not wanting to seem weak in front of the boys, not that she thought the boys had ever seen her as weak. "I never wanted to hurt you or Oliver and I know that I have done. That I have ruined something forever that I can't have back again. You do know that I would never intentionally hurt you? That I have nothing against you being a Muggle born?"

[Christopher Zhou]

Christopher looked down at himself and then back up at her, a faint smile passing over his features. "Thanks," he said simply, looking her over now. "Same to you, I suppose. Not that you'd believe me. You never did," he said, almost deepening the smile as he thought back to the old days when the three friends would just sit and talk for hours. "No, I didn't think you'd try. I figured by now you'd have known that Oliver sought me out and explained everything. I would like to say that I am interested in hearing you out... I really wish I could trudge up the desire to hear both sides of the story to piece things together on my own, but I'm not sure I can lie so convincingly. What he told me was pretty... well, it was pretty damning. I'm not sure that anything could be said to justify what you've done."

He brought his head back as though she'd physically struck him and then practically snarled. "You don't know me," he accused. "You think you know me... You think I am still the boy from five years ago. You haven't known me since then and you certainly haven't gone out of your way to try to get to know me all over again. Though I suppose I should not throw stones, but I can at least say for my part that Oliver and I did try. But you're correct in your supposition... Forgiveness still does not come easily to me. I have yet to get over that not-so-admirable quality of mine."

He didn't know what to say now. He was torn between walking away and shaking her. He wanted to know why! "You don't have to be. It didn't have to be like this. You made your choice... The decision to meet with Lestrange is one you're going to have to live with and examine. Clearly our friendship was not enough for you. You sought the help of a deranged psycho who derives pleasure in killing my kind. You could have easily come to any of us... Or was it harder? You'd have much rather gone to Lestrange than Oliver. Than me? That's what hurts, Tammy! Perhaps you didn't mean to do it, but you did it."

Her last words made his blood run cold. "I wish I could believe that..."

[Tamara Lynn Davis]

Tammy Lynn seriously had to fight the desire to laugh, but she knew that it would be uncalled for. This was strange. One minute they were smiling and complimenting each other, just like in the past. The next they were jumping down each others' throats. She did not want this to end with a fight. She'd have preferred it to be more... peaceful. Though that would be far too much to wish for.
"You've already made up your mind," she accused quietly. "I don't need to explain myself to you. You already know what you want to believe and what not." She shook her head. She couldn't believe what he was saying. True, she couldn't blame him for being mad at her. She just did not like his being so cruel about it. "I did not say that I came here to justify what I did. You decided that for yourself."

Her face flushed and for once it was with anger. He was so self-righteous that it hurt. It was one of his flaws, though of course he was blind to even that. "Four years," she said automatically. "It's been four years. She shook her head angrily. "I tried too, Chris, I did! Last summer, I couldn't meet you guys. Mother made sure that the House Elves don't let me go out. I couldn't go anywhere. Did Oliver even bother to tell you that mother and him intercepted your owls. And in school? It's not like you guys were inviting me to come and talk to you. Merlin, you can't deny that you weren't avoiding me in some part. That you couldn't forgive me for landing myself in Slytherin house as a timid eleven year old? Stop blaming me for making assumptions, Chris. I never blamed you for your flaws."

Her laugh was bitter and shaky. "I know I don't have to be. But I am." She said nothing. "I never had any choice, Chris. You try living in a house with a mother whose only sense of comfort is a bottle of merlot." She froze. She had never mentioned her mother being an alcoholic, afraid of what the other's would think. Her excuses for staying at home because her mother supposedly wanted her to take extra flute lessons, when she was really having to take care of her mother in the same way that her mother never did with her. "You try listening to rants about Muggle borns day in and day out, you try and defend your friends and..." she trailed off. She did not need for him to hear it all. She shook her head. "I made a mistake, I considered it, I know. I know." She paused. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Chris."

Hearing that, she couldn't help but to stumble over to him, her legs still rather weak from the cold. She clutched at his robes, not caring for a second if she looked crazy. "No, no, Chris. You have to believe me, please." Her voice actually cracked on the last word and she let go of him immediately, at once falling back against the stone wall. "I will never intentionally hurt you."

[Christopher Zhou]

"Can you blame me?" he asked, his brow rising as if to challenge her. "After what you told Oliver...? Did you really expect me not to come to my own conclusions. After all, you weren't there to fill in the blanks." He chuckled a bit sardonically. "No... I did not decide anything. I merely said there was nothing you could say that would justify what you have done. Not that you would try or that it was your intent all along. No... I think I know well enough now to know that of all things you are, contrite is probably not on the list."

He gave her the driest of expressions. "Clearly I was rounding." He actually had been, but it didn't matter. She would find fights were fights didn't belong. How he had ever put up with her was beginning to seem more and more like a miracle. "Our falling out had nothing to do with the house you found yourself in. I couldn't give a crap if you were a Slytherin so long as you didn't believe what they believed. I never thought you capable. Yes, we should have remained closer, but it was more neglect and time consumption than anything that drove a wedge between us. Our friendship began to crumble because both of us were apparently too busy to bother taking a few minutes out of our days to find time for each other. That, I do regret. But it was never because you were a Slytherin." He cast her a sour look. "My flaws never put words in your mouth or thoughts in your head that weren't there."

That shocked him but what could he say to that? "Because of your mother, you never had a choice?" That was tragic but ultimately not good enough. "You say this to me? Me who constantly waited up passed three in the morning just to catch glimpses of my parents? Who was raised and cared for by my brothers because my parents were never around. I never had them there to raise me either, but I still have choices, and I chose to be better than Lestrange. And you want to talk about hard child hoods? Let's talk about Potter for a moment... Or the countless others who have lost their parents because of the Death Eaters. Let's talk about the lives destroyed by people like Bellatrix Lestrange..."

Now he was angry. "I do listen to rants about muggle borns all day!" he hissed. "From your house mates! Only when I listen to them, they're calling me the mudblood! The filth! The dirt on the shoe or the scum of the Earth. Not fit to practice magic with the likes of them. You try living with that and then see how you like it when somebody who was supposed to be your friend looks for the nearest recruiter to help her through a crises. You can see why I'm upset, yes?" He said nothing to her apology.

He did not move as she grabbed a hold of him and he determinedly looked away from her. "But you did hurt me, Tammy... You betrayed me. I just don't know how to see passed that right now."